"successful feminists don't have kids... sometimes are not even married" is a very insulting comment I once came across. Though most feminists had to give away their female roles for doing their jobs as feminists, they have nevertheless paved a way for the rest to operate in an equal society. Feminism does not mean hatred towards the other gender, it is just an expression of equality of both genders. It is about accepting that there are certain things men can do and women can't, and other things like giving birth, which women can do and men cant. It is the acceptance of equality of value and contribution both genders offer to the society.This taboo of feminists being female chauvinistic, ego eccentric, dominating females is still in place. Feminism is not about dominance... it is in fact against dominance. It is against the dominance of one gender.
Why are we humans so prejudiced? man-woman, rich-poor, white-black, young-old, Brahmain-Sudra, beautiful-ugly, straight-gay and the list is end less. Can't we see everybody as mere humans who should have equal opportunities to live and thrive? How many generations would we carry these prejudices for? are we not done? Didn't we have enough?
This thought kept bothering me after I saw one of my friends who had to attend to her job right after a month of her delivery, since she used a part of her maternity leave before delivery, due to complications. She had to go on night-shifts which left the baby crying all night. People can blame her that it was her choice but it wasn't in fact her choice. It was nature's choice to stow the mighty responsibility of nourishing a new life on females. Should she be punished for that? It is time our government, employers, colleagues take a note of the contribution 'SHE' is making to the society, and lend a hand in helping her sail through the process. Women are already stretched beyond their limits, both physically and mentally, in this process of childbirth. They now have a responsibility of another completely dependent life on them. Would it harm us so much if we offer them a warm smile, an understanding nod, a gesture of empathy and a flexible policy?
YES. There are policies in place... but most of them limited to top companies or public sector units. Only if a woman is privileged enough to work in such places, would she be able to avail this. Again, how many companies actually have creches to facilitate the motherhood? What should they do with the child after their maternity leave period?
Again, after arguing so much about equality, how many fathers would be willing to leave their job and babysit, when the woman wants to go back to work? Did we see a single example in our experiences till date? if so, how many? Is it not equal responsibility of both the parents to take care of the child? How does the responsibility of taking care of the child till his schooling and building his/her character goes naturally to the mother, while the rights of decision making, as to which school/college the child should go, which specialization the child should choose, who the child should get married to, etc. goes naturally to the father. Why again the terms like sacrifice, compromise, prioritize etc keep coming back to women?
It is a prevalent argument that "It was her choice to continue working and she should cope with that." But when a man is not put under that situation and never faces that dilemma, it gets tiringly difficult to argue with them the reasons for wanting to work. She might have studied in school, college, university, equal to you or even better than you, she might have worked equally or more hard than you to come to that position, she might have spent equal or more sleep less nights to deliver the work expected.... etc. why should all this change only because she is capable of and willing to give birth to a baby?
It is time we understand the struggle and dilemma a mother goes through in bringing up her children and it is our responsibility to lend a helping hand, either at office, home or elsewhere and appreciate their efforts and sacrifices. It would be a positive change if one can offer more generous help say in washing dishes or changing diapers of the baby at home to offering help at work so that she can go home early to hug the small dependent life of her. This is my new year resolution.... what is yours?
PS: Yes. the number of fathers taking care of their children is increasing as compared to twenty years back.... and it shouldn't stop here... we have a long road ahead to achieve this equality of thought and action.
Why are we humans so prejudiced? man-woman, rich-poor, white-black, young-old, Brahmain-Sudra, beautiful-ugly, straight-gay and the list is end less. Can't we see everybody as mere humans who should have equal opportunities to live and thrive? How many generations would we carry these prejudices for? are we not done? Didn't we have enough?
This thought kept bothering me after I saw one of my friends who had to attend to her job right after a month of her delivery, since she used a part of her maternity leave before delivery, due to complications. She had to go on night-shifts which left the baby crying all night. People can blame her that it was her choice but it wasn't in fact her choice. It was nature's choice to stow the mighty responsibility of nourishing a new life on females. Should she be punished for that? It is time our government, employers, colleagues take a note of the contribution 'SHE' is making to the society, and lend a hand in helping her sail through the process. Women are already stretched beyond their limits, both physically and mentally, in this process of childbirth. They now have a responsibility of another completely dependent life on them. Would it harm us so much if we offer them a warm smile, an understanding nod, a gesture of empathy and a flexible policy?
YES. There are policies in place... but most of them limited to top companies or public sector units. Only if a woman is privileged enough to work in such places, would she be able to avail this. Again, how many companies actually have creches to facilitate the motherhood? What should they do with the child after their maternity leave period?
Again, after arguing so much about equality, how many fathers would be willing to leave their job and babysit, when the woman wants to go back to work? Did we see a single example in our experiences till date? if so, how many? Is it not equal responsibility of both the parents to take care of the child? How does the responsibility of taking care of the child till his schooling and building his/her character goes naturally to the mother, while the rights of decision making, as to which school/college the child should go, which specialization the child should choose, who the child should get married to, etc. goes naturally to the father. Why again the terms like sacrifice, compromise, prioritize etc keep coming back to women?
It is a prevalent argument that "It was her choice to continue working and she should cope with that." But when a man is not put under that situation and never faces that dilemma, it gets tiringly difficult to argue with them the reasons for wanting to work. She might have studied in school, college, university, equal to you or even better than you, she might have worked equally or more hard than you to come to that position, she might have spent equal or more sleep less nights to deliver the work expected.... etc. why should all this change only because she is capable of and willing to give birth to a baby?
It is time we understand the struggle and dilemma a mother goes through in bringing up her children and it is our responsibility to lend a helping hand, either at office, home or elsewhere and appreciate their efforts and sacrifices. It would be a positive change if one can offer more generous help say in washing dishes or changing diapers of the baby at home to offering help at work so that she can go home early to hug the small dependent life of her. This is my new year resolution.... what is yours?
PS: Yes. the number of fathers taking care of their children is increasing as compared to twenty years back.... and it shouldn't stop here... we have a long road ahead to achieve this equality of thought and action.
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