You know you are a doctor's wife when......

There are many assumptions and presumptions around being a doctor's wife. I want to finally talk about it and tell this world the reality about being a doctor's wife.

Assumption 1: You married him because he is a doctor
Reality: False. I would have rather married somebody who would come home everyday by at least 7 in the evening and sit for dinner with me. (If you are talking about money, I am coming to that point next.) I married him because i genuinely like him. I like him not because he is a doctor, but in-spite of him being a doctor.(info: I know him even before he was a doctor and it dint change much since then.)

Assumption 2: He is a doctor. He must be rich.
Reality: False.Doctors don't have great packages. If you are looking at the consultation charges you pay at the hospital, doctors are given only a small part of it. He has enough loans to last for a lifetime. He spends his entire life (almost up to 35) studying, and lives on stipend, which is less than a nurse's salary. Finally, when he starts his practice, he has a study loan almost nearing a hundred lakhs.(this would take atleast 10-15 years to pay.)

Assumption 3: Since he is a doctor, you don't need to go to a doctor.
Reality: False. Your husband cannot be a gynecologist, pediatrician, surgeon, anesthetist, dermatologist, neurologist, nephrologist , etc. at the same time. You invariably end up running to a doctor, but Yes. atleast he tells you where you should go to.(but never accompanies you.)

Assumption 4: Doctors wives lead a fancy life. They don't have to work.
Reality: False. Most of the doctor's wives are under compulsion to work. They need to earn to make ends meet. If a doctor's wife is staying home, its not because she doesn't need to work, but because she is trying to compensate for the time Dr.P is not able to spend with his children. She is covering up for him.

Assumption 5: Dr.P doesn't pick his calls. Mrs. P doesn't let him talk to anybody.
Reality: False. most of the times you call him, he has his hand half buried in somebody's body and doesn't bother to look at the phone. When he comes home, and she picks the call, it means that he is sleeping after a continuous 48 hours of standing/running and she would want to convey your message after he wakes up.

Assumption 6: Dr.P is impatient and doesn't talk well/ has no patience.
Reality: False. He might be the most patient guy you might have ever come across... but you might be 172nd person of that day he is trying to explain something and is losing out on energy to do so.

You know you are a doctor's wife when....

• you are eating your dinner alone on your wedding anniversary, your birthday and his birthday.
• You wait for 2 days to tell him that you are pregnant.
• you go alone to all his friends and relatives weddings.
• you spend endless days, holidays, vacations ALONE.
• you go to a movie/dinner (very rarely) - he gets a call in the middle and rushes back.
• you pay the electricity, telephone and water bills, while coming back from bringing monthly groceries.
• crosscheck ten times before you sleep that the front door is locked because you are alone at home.
• keep your 'TV' on whole night, and sleep on the sofa.
• he is in a state of sleep-less coma when he is home and you are waiting to share with him, something important.
• You are talking to him and he is already asleep.
• he talks about patients and their history in sleep.
• you cook food for two, but eventually end up eating it both for lunch and dinner.
• you keep his parents updated because he doesn't do it.
•  you are washing a blood stained apron and stinking cloths.( he would have worn them for not less than 2 days at a stretch.)
• you are spoon feeding him, his dinner when he is already half asleep.
• he gets an emergency call in the middle of the night and runs to the hospital in his night pants, and you sit there watching, not knowing what to do.
• You are in an emergency but don't prefer to call him because you know he is not going to pick/ help.
• you go to all your medical consultations and scans alone, because he can't come.
• when you comeback home from work, there is nobody to ask you how your day was. (you feel like an orphan)
• you are for-ever waiting for him to complete his studies so that you can for once go shopping without budget constraints.
• Finally, you write it on a blog because you can't crib about it or complain to anybody, for it was YOUR choice to  marry him.

Yet, I am proud to be a doctor's wife, for its my (and his) sacrifice that is keeping somebody alive somewhere.....

Who am I ??

"WHO AM I ?"

Every person, in his journey of life poses one question to himself at some point or the other. This question sometimes has multiple answers and sometimes none. This question keeps returning at various stages in various forms. Many philosophers and thinkers have given various answers to this question but the same answer does not satisfy or fit everybody. Our journey of life continues in an attempt to answer this question. A continuous exploration of our inner self slowly but surely reveals an answer. But do we always need an answer to this or is the question enough to keep us thinking? Does the exploration end once we get an answer?

Some great thinkers have come up with answers to this question. Advaita professes the idea of " Aham Brahmasmi " 'I am God'. Dvaita contradicts this by saying '' I am different from God". There are various ways people have identified themselves. But did the question stop bothering once the answer is given? "NO". This question does not end in an answer. This demands more than an answer. This question demands a perspective, a thought, a reality and an identification.

Sometimes questions do not have a single answer. They can not be satisfied by a single thought. They need multiple answers. Answers evolve from each other like thoughts evolve and refine overtime. These thoughts vary from "Aham sahasra roopa" (I am everything (here sahasra means 'everything'... not 'thousand')) to  "Aham arupinah" (I am nothing(formless)).

Every person, animal, plant.... for that matter anything.... has a uniqueness to itself. This conveys that every object has an "I" or "Aham" within itself. this makes "I" as everything. Everything has its self and the self takes the form of the object, like water takes the form of the container but at the same time, when one asks for the shape of water, it possesses none. The same way, self has no form or it is formless at the same time has every form.
This argument reminds me of a famous line popularized by Bhakta Prahlada "ఇందుగలడందులేడని సందేహము వలదు ఎందెందు వెదకినా అందెందే గలడు ". This seems like it is talking about the self present in every form or saying "He (God) is everything" and when this is conjunct-ed with "I am God", we can derive "I am everything". But when we ask our self, where is this "I" within you, the answer is nowhere... "I am nothing".

Did you find your "I" yet?  if not.... its time to introspect...